I Like You, You Like Me!

The other morning, I came across an article from iVillage.com called '10 Ways to Make People Like You.' Of course, being as popular and universally loved as I am, I had no reason to read such a piece, but I thought in light of what's going on around us in the Middle East these days, a couple of politicians out there (or even Charlie Sheen) could use the advice! So here is my take on the tips and hints:

1. Smile a lot
So obvious, I know. Yes, a cheerful showing of your pearly whites makes you more attractive to people and they will be encouraged to like you more. Hmmm, well I guess there should be an addendum to that, like if your smile is accompanied by statements like, 'There will be blood,' your 'friendliness' is probably not gonna be taken that seriously.

2. Be a good listener
This may also seem like a no brainer, but you'd be surprised how some folks will interpret thousands of people carrying signs that say, 'We hate you. Leave now,' to mean, 'We worship the ground you walk on.' See, a good listener, you know, actually listens.

3. Share something about yourself
Do not get carried away with this one. The key word here is 'something' as in one thing. For example, scratch the two hour, incoherent rambling of how great and perfect and wonderful you are, and maybe say something like, 'Dude, sorry to hear that you lost your job, I've never had a real one myself, but yo, did I tell you that Beyonce, Jay Z, Usher and Nelly Furtado came to this kick ass party I threw on my boat?' See, in one sentence you managed to share that you are empathetic and cool. Two birds, one stone.

4. Strike the right pose
It's all about body language: crossing your arms and legs away from people closes you off from them and they are less likely to approach you or continue talking to you. This makes you less likable. I'd like to add that waving guns in the air and shooting doesn't help either.

5. Don't talk trash
Right, here it goes. To get people to like you, it's probably not a good idea to refer to them as 'cockroaches' or 'rats.' Just a suggestion.

6. Lighten up
It's always a good idea not to take yourself too seriously and show that you can laugh at yourself. This will make the person you're talking to more comfortable and relaxed, and they just may start thinking that you're a pleasure to be around. You could share an anecdote about yourself, like the time you got high off your coffee and milk. Ha ha ha! Really. Totally hilarious.

7. Ask for a favor
This point needs to be clarified. For example, it's okay to ask someone to watch your phone while you use the bathroom because it establishes trust. It's not okay, however, to ask people to ... I dunno ... suffer for a loaf of bread while you bask in luxury off their labor. Maybe?

8. Do something nice
Okay, big hint here: bombs and bullets don't count.

9. Use their name when speaking to them
See number 5. Names proper are probably best.

10. Be sensitive
Uhm ... let's see ... if you follow points 1 through 9, I'd say you're all set in the sensitivity department. 

And now, after completing this 10-step program, everyone should totally love you. You're welcome!