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Sunday, March 8, 2009

The Unibrow Epidemic: A Rant of the Week

There is an epidemic in Lebanon: the spread of the unibrow. I rarely watch local TV, but the other night I was watching the news and noticed a news anchor with one of the most noticeable unibrows I've ever seen and was in shock that this guy was actually allowed on TV! Right next to him was a woman, perfectly tweezed, coiffed and madeup. It probably took her over an hour to get camera ready and the guy?? Was on TV with a unibrow! It made me so angry because basically what the producers of this show are telling us is that a woman must always look perfect, but a guy can look like ass WITH A UNIBROW and that is perfectly ok, because he's a guy. Whatever!

The other day, a friend of mine was telling me about this disastrous date she went on with this complete jerk, who thought he was God's gift to women. He spent the whole time telling her how all the country's most beautiful women were running after him and how he was struggling to deflect their amorous advances. All my friend could think was, 'Dude, you've got a freaking UNIBROW!' What she really wanted to do (other than flee from his dreadful company as soon as possible) was direct him to the nearest pharmacy and tell him to buy a bloody pair of tweezers. There are certain things that no amount of money or college degrees can cover up. A crappy personality is one and a unibrow is the other. In this case, the guy had both!

What is it with these guys? Has the ratio of seven women to one guy gone to their heads and now they think every chick in the country is desperate to be with them so even minimal grooming requirements are no longer necessary? Or, is it that growing up, their mommies kept telling them how handsome they were and that women would love the straight hairy line across their brows? Well, here's a newsflash: mothers lie! Shocking, but true! I mean, the other day someone from my old high school posted these of pics of me and some school mates and they were embarrassingly awful. I showed them to my mom and she said, of course, I looked beautiful. I was fat and my hair was bigger than my face, so guess what? I did not believe her! Mothers say things to make their kids feel better - it's their job, but not necessarily the truth. So, what's the moral of the story: unibrows are NASTY!

So, if you look like this (or any approximation):

then run to the nearest pair of tweezers and START PLUCKING. NOW!

It goes without saying that no one is perfect. Lord knows all women have their fair share of skin, hair and weight problems, but at least, at least, we pluck our damned eyebrows!


  1. You are absolutely right. There is a double standard. Men are pardoned with many beauty sins committed against humanity. And do not have to live up to certain standards on whats acceptable in society. Just imagine if your friend had the unibrow and the attitude! God forbid. Your friend's date needs to go to and take a reality check. The unibrow and decorated degrees can only go so far with some women. The smart ones can see right through that " straight hairy line across" the brows!

  2. unibrows rock!!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. Who knows uni brows might become fashionable in the future....then beauty becomes between the eyes of the beholder !!

  4. anissa you are wrong . You were beautiful then and still beautiful now . Not all mothers lie

  5. This made me laugh out loud. Double standard indeed! It reminded me of a time that I heard this guy from AUB comment that a girl I knew was 'ugly'. I remember being quite shocked at the time, thinking - gee wiz buddy, have you looked in the mirror lately? The guy had a unibrow AND an unsightly paunch, and irony of all ironies, the girl was far from ugly! Lebanese men need to lift their game, and if not - stop demanding unattainable perfection from Lebanese women. Love your work Anissa.