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Monday, May 3, 2010

Tales from the Ladies, Part II: El Cheapo Grande

Welcome dear readers to part II of our eye-opening series on the world of dating with this tale of shocking cheapness. Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds was recently horrified to find herself on a date with El Cheapo Grande, who was so stingy, he made Scrooge seem generous. Wonder how she managed to navigate herself through the treacherous waters of this scandalous adventure? Do read on ...

Dear Anissa,

I was asked out on a second date by this guy last week, who we’ll just call El Cheapo Grande. The fact that ECG said, “I wanna go somewhere cheap and casual,” should be an indication of why the name is perfect for this creep! Plus, it should have alerted me to his soon-to-be discovered lack of manners, but being the open-minded lady I am, I decided to go just the same. Upon arriving at the agreed upon venue, not only did he not stand to greet me, but he also seemed generally unexcited to see me. I was looking pretty hot, if I do say so myself, so a simple “you look nice” would have made up for the fact that he didn’t stand to say hello. Whatever! I’m pretty laid back so I continued to be polite. The conversation was okay, and I was telling myself that maybe ECG is not so horrible after all.

HOWEVER, at the end of the date, we were in a debate about the subject of living together before marriage – he is in favor and I am not. Anyway, during this back and forth the bill came, and instead of snatching it up like a gentleman, it just sat there in front of us both. VERY AWKWARD. I, by no means, need a man to pay for my meal, however, if I’m asked out on a date and it’s his invitation, etiquette says that it is his responsibility to pay. Either way, I wasn’t going to assume that he was going to pick up the bill, so when he finally reached for it, I of course offered to pay. (By the way, I got a salad that was $12 and had tap water as a beverage, so my bill probably equaled a total of $15, including tip.) Anyway, once I offered, he studied the bill, and then said, “Uhm, you could throw in a $20 if you like.” And then conversation went a little something like this:

ME [in my head]: WHAT AN EFFING CHEAPO!
ME [out loud, big smile on my face]: “No problem.”
ECG: “No wait, why don’t you just grab the next one.”
ME: “No that’s quite alright, I will pay for myself,”
ECG: “No really, I got it, not a big deal.”
ME: “No really, I insist on paying my share.”
ECG: “Why? Are we not going out again?”
ME [in my head]: YOU THINK?!? HELL NO, YOU CHEAP BASTARD! If you don’t think I’m worthy of a freaking $15 salad then you aren’t worth an iota of my time!
ME [out loud, exaggerated politeness]: No, it’s not that at all [yeah right!], I just don’t like to owe anyone anything.

ECG still refused my money, but at that point, it was way too late. Whatever interest I had was out the door. What a HUGE turn off that he had zero manners and was about as charming as an ape. Too bad, because he was actually good looking. But, hey, that’s what we call a Monet: good from far, but far from good! Nexxxttttttt!!

Sounds delightful ... NOT!! Let's hope our poor Lucy has better luck next time with a guy who at leasts thinks her company worth more than a salad and water! In our next Tales from the Ladies installment, Pixie Minxie dishes about her tantalizing travails with the opposite sex. Ooooh, sounds delicious!
 
Until then, you know you love me, XOXO, Blogger Girl!

13 comments:

  1. It looks like Lucy had a pretty bad stingy experience. However, at least he didnt tell her "Let me order for you since you dont eat much" That may be high up there on the stingy rankings. Thank God that El Cheapo is not in my life and i have a Mr. Generousito in my life now. Good luck Lucy!

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  2. Its ok Lucy these things happen all the time. Worst you'l find are people so cheap to even let out a smile or yet ackgnowldge a kind gesture, while their happy to pick-up the tab - Mr. HJNIY

    PS Out of curiosity was that in the US and not in Lebnon?

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  3. Yes it was in the US...However even in the US that is considered cheap! There is a thing though about Southern hospitality and Southern gentlemen...this guy was from NY so go figure...way to give Northern men a bad rap!

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  4. I wunze datahed dis guy who took meh on ah trip to Pairus and we flew in biznuss clahss....needlas to say 'el cheapo grande' gaht no "bj's". Sum times I wish I wahs strweight...garls are juhst so simple compawred to mehn.

    Kisses,

    Brüno

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  5. Dear Lucy,
    I thought Anissa's blogs are focused on th Lebanese and Lebanon in particular...unless th guy was Lebanese, then the blog could be a considered a bit misleading. Right Anissa? - Mr. HJNIY

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  6. Mr. HJNTIY - Lucy is Lebanese, so her story is definitely relevant since this series is focusing on dating stories of Lebanese women, no matter where they may be in the world!!

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  7. Dear Anissa,

    I just discovered your lovely Blog and I spent my WHOLE DAY catching myself up! I loved everything you write, and even from living in the US I can still relate to all of the Lebanese-isms that you portray so nicely! I can't wait to read more!!

    Thanks for sharing your life,
    M. Khoury

    www.twitter.com/LebanonsAngel

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  8. You look "hot" Anissa! -Todd

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  9. Thank you, Mauni, I'm so glad you're enjoying it!

    And thanks Todd!!!

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  10. Today is my birthday, and when I blow out my candles and open my eyes...you better be standing in front of me!! Love, George Clooney

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  11. check out my blog at http://444richandfamous.blogspot.com/

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  12. Anissa, you kill me!

    Megan

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