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Wednesday, February 24, 2010

How far would you go ...?

Sunny Sunshine and I were having coffee a few days ago and discussing how far we'd go if we were interested in someone who was not exactly responding in the way we had hoped. We are both very much Old School - which basically means we're better suited to living out a Jane Austen novel than mingling amidst the modern tigresses of today's dating world. Our idea of being 'daring' is sending an unsolicited text message, which neither of us has had the guts to do, mind you. Yeah, we are so not Gossip Girl material! We decide after decaf non-fat lattes and herbal tea that we are hopeless cases. But I did spill about a story of my most pathetic daring move over a guy I was very much interested in.

At the time, I went to Miss HotStuff for some much needed advice on how to go about pursuing my crush (FYI: while SS and I are kindred spirits in our wimpiness traditionalism, Miss HotStuff thinks I am just plain lame). I was throwing a small dinner for friends and really wanted this one guy to come. We were acquaintances so it would've been totally natural for me to call him up and say, 'Hey, I'm having a dinner, why don't you come?' But nooooo, I had to over-analyze the whole situation and think for ages about whether or not I should invite him, how I should invite him, and to make sure that it doesn't seem like I'm into him (even though I totally was) if I were actually brave enough to invite him. With all the backwards and forwards and going through all the scenarios, Miss HotStuff was literally ready to throw me off the balcony. 'Uhhh, how old are you again?' she reminded me ever so kindly.

It may sound easy enough, but making the first move is incredibly difficult and needs to be done with finesse and so subtly that the guy doesn't even know that you're doing it. It's really quite a feat to send a message that basically says, 'Hey, I'd like you to be at my dinner, but don't let it go to your head that I'm interested in you, but at the same time, here is a big hint that I like you, just in case you weren't sure and haven't made a move yet because you were afraid I was going to reject you.'

Taking all that into consideration, it should come as no great surprise that it took me two hours to come up with a one sentence email invite (because I was too chicken s*** to call or even send an SMS). After writing the email and staring at it forever, I read it out loud to Miss Hotstuff and Mr. US, who happened to be over. I called up Mr. B and asked his opinion; he thought I'd been used in some science experiment that regressed me back to the age of 12. The delivery guy from Roadster came with our food and Miss HotStuff suggested I ask what he thought (I laughed sarcastically, but was secretly seriously considering it).

Finally, Mr. US, completely annoyed with my juvenile behavior, told me to send the damned email already in a way that made it perfectly clear that everyone thought I was a complete loser. 'But what if he says no??' I whined. 'SO WHAT??' he replied. And that was it, really. I thought, yeah, so what if he says no. So what if some stupid dumbass guy out there doesn't want to come to my dinner because he - obviously - has incredibly bad taste in women? Is my ego really so fragile? My pride really that frail? NO! I thought resolutely, I can handle this.

So ... I hit send .. dah dah dahhhhhhhh....

Okay, so nothing earth shattering happened. He replied shortly after saying he'd love to come to my dinner. And no I did not check my email every five minutes to see if he'd responded (okay, maybe I did).

And then it was over and I had survived. (By the way, the guy eventually asked me to dinner and after all that build up in my head, he turned out to be quite a nasty piece of work. All my efforts wasted!!)

You know what? I still don't get why the old formula had to change: boy likes girl, girl likes boy, boy asks girl out - END OF STORY! It was so easy and simple and uncomplicated. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know - I need to get my head out of that Jane Austen novel already!

Now you know the extent of my so-called daring, but how far would you go, or have you gone ... ??? After reading the above, you know it ain't gonna be hard to shame out-do me!!


  1. You have such great posts Anissa.
    You are a really good writer and your posts always make`s me want to countinue reading.

    I have started a new project on my blog ( The project is called "Speak out loud", please check it out on the link below:


    I hope that you will be a part of it, and that you please will give me some feedback.

    Love Ammouret Lebnen

  2. I love the direction you are going with this blog. Your stories cease to amaze me. Your wit is as charming as J.Austen. I hope you end up like Carrie B. and find your Mr. Big.

  3. I am going to check my inbox, and there better be an e-mail from you!! Love, George