Monday, January 4, 2010
Faux Frenchies (and other losers)
Normal Lebanese Person: Hi.
FF: Frenchie frenchie coucou nonsense in French.
NLP: Sorry, I don't speak French. Only Arabic and English please.
FF: Oh mon Dieu (face in disgust) no French?? Quelle catastrophe! Yuck, Arabic is only for peasants, but if I must lower myself ... [Begins to speak Arabic with French accent].
NLP: Uhm, you know you're not French right?
FF: Yes, and I've never even been to France, but I must roll my 'r's anyway, because it is very clah.
FF: Mais ouis!
Faux Brit: G'day mate.
Normal Lebanese Person: Uhm, you know that's Australian.
FB: Oh yeah, easy mistake, though, ainnet [i.e., isn't it]?
NLP: Only if you're mentally challenged.
FB: Hey, I really am British, you know …. Look, I can say, bloody hell!
NLP: You’re bloody annoying.